My Commonplace Book

My small group ministry meeting today was on the topic of "Fear." Hearing from everyone was very interesting. I didn't know how they folks in the group would handle being forced to listen to the roach story -- that's why I put it behind a cut, after all -- and I was talked out about that anyway.

So instead I spoke about my phobias -- the fear of heights that I've overcome, and the fear of dentists that I'm making progress with. During the discussion one of the other people in the group mentioned that she had also been taken off a ferris wheel because she was screaming, when she was about the same age I was!

It was an interesting meeting. Some talked about being afraid during a specific situation; others talked about existential fears. One woman, GH, said she'd always been afraid of responsibility, to such an extreme extent that although a number of suitors had proposed to her, she could never bring herself to make the decision. She finally married the man who, instead of asking her, said, "We're getting married. You can pick the date." They're in their 70s now and still married, and she said her biggest fear is of D dying before her and leaving her alone with no one to take care of her.

On the other hand, three people in the group of eight said that they really didn't have any fears. They'd been afraid in specific situations, of course, but they didn't have any pervasive fears that affected their life. One man, JB, also in his 70s, boasted that he isn't even afraid of public speaking, the most common social phobia, and illustrated his lack of fear by telling us that he wants to jump out of an airplane and freefall for several thousand feet. He's had an exceptionally fortunate life remarkably free of vicissitudes, and has a very positive attitude, so I think he's telling the truth.

I can't imagine what it's like to be so free of fear, but I also can't imagine what it's like to be as hemmed in by fear as G. I felt I was somewhere in the middle, and that felt like a reasonably comfortable place to be.

Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves.
                  Bonaro Wilkerson Overstreet (1902-1985), American poet and psychologist