My Commonplace Book

After not having posted or read for a long time due to depression-induced inertia, I had a hard time coming back even when I felt better.

But thanks to momomom, who's been calling me and getting me outdoors, to lesliepear who sent me a nudge, goingdriftless who sent me a nudge, and to ms_interpret who sent me an email, I'm posting this message, and I'm going to make a concerted effort to go back to regular reading and posting and reconnecting with my LJ friends. It's not that I haven't thought of you all -- I have been, regularly. And it's not that I didn't care -- I miss you all! But I was becoming a hermit in RL also. And I'm ready for that to be over.

Another thing that finally pushed me into posting today is that I had a dream about ms_interpret last night. It was a very encouraging dream, too, and I wanted to tell her about it, so I planned to call her today. I thought about her a number of times, trying to figure out what would be a good time, considering the 3-hour time difference.

So I wasn't really surprised to get an email from her, even though I hadn't heard from her in months. Apparently my thinking about her so much got through to her. (I firmly believe this happens, and that it's not paranormal but some sort of completely natural process we just haven't discovered yet.)  When I called her she thought I was calling because I'd received her email -- but I told her no, she'd thought of sending me an email because I was thinking about her so much today!

After we caught up with each other I told her that it's always hard for me to get back to posting after a long break, because I feel guilty about not having kept up with my friends. "I care about them -- a lot," I said, but how can I possibly catch up with their journals after such a long time? I feel guilty and awkward just jumping into reading and posting comments without having been there for so long.

Shannon urged me to just post that I'm back, that I really want to know how my friends are, and that I should just say that if there's something you want me to know about (which to me is anything important that's been happening in your life, since I genuinely do care and have missed you all very much!) to tell me or point me to an entry. She said, "People understand. I see posts like that all the time."

So here is another post like that. I hope you understand!

I was really tired again today, and after I had some baby carrots for a snack this afternoon I felt really worn out. I put my head down and realized I was going to fall asleep like that and wake up really hurting, so I changed into my jammies and crawled into bed. I turned on the electric blanket but I hadn't pre-warmed the bed, and my feet were freezing (I have mild Raynaud's, which in my case comes along with the ever-delightful fibromyalgia), so I got up again and put on a pair of socks. Then I fell asleep, and had a really strange dream.........

( Really strange dream )