Heaven is freshly ground peanut butter and fresh local strawberries on whole wheat orange cranberry pecan bread, followed by homemade matzo toffee cookies (from the Seder) and vanilla rooibos tea.

Mmmmmmmmm.


(I'm dying to write about Meredith's graduation on Friday, but I found out the hard way yesterday that my hands, though much improved, still get too painful when I try to type more than a paragraph or two. I'm hoping to at least start on it later today.)

Why are my joints hurting so much?! My wrists are the worst -- they don't flare that often and never at the same time, but I've had several days lately where I've had to wear splints (not just elastic braces, splints) all day. Typing hurts like hell but I needed to bitch a little.

Yesterday my right thumb was so bad I had to dig out the thumb splint I bought a couple of years ago (last time I had a thumb-joint flare) and wear that all day. My right knee desperately needs replacement, but it's been even worse than usual. I had a flare in some joint in my right foot a few days ago. And my other joints are nothing to write home about, either.

I'm hoping it has something to do with the 2-week course of Cipro I've been on for a kidney infection. The last pill was last night. I sure hope it eases up as the drug is cleared from my system. I have a very busy week with a lot to do.

I was talking to my friend Anne this morning about the birther idiocy, and she said:

We thought Palin was beyond the pale, but Trump trumps her!

It wasn't until I cracked up and said that was wonderful that she realized what she'd said. She hadn't consciously thought it up, it just came out that way!

I don't really celebrate Easter. When Meredith was young I would make an Easter Basket Treasure Hunt for her every year. She'd get a rhymed clue; when she figured it out it would lead her to another clue, and so on. The last clue would lead her to the hidden basket, with the chocolate bunny sitting on top.

But once she grew out of it, that was about it. Unlike Christmas, all the secular aspects of which I happily embraced as a Unitarian Universalist, Easter really is primarily a religious holiday -- with a (to me) preposterous story that has no resonance for me in any way.

But I joined my church choir about two years ago, so I was there for rehearsal at 8:00 this morning. We sang "Dry Bones" (you know -- "dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones ... de neck bone connected to de head bone ...") which is based on Ezekiel 37 and is easy and lots of fun to sing. We use a wonderful jazzy gospel arrangement. The congregation loved it -- they applauded at both services!

I did buy some chocolate mousse Peeps bunnies, and had some when I got home from church. Mmmm, even more yummy than regular Peeps! Now I'm going to go take a nap.

If you celebrate Easter, I hope it's a joyful one.

via woofiegrrl:

A Japanese friend of mine wrote to me with horrifying news about the pets and animals in the exclusion zone around the Fukushima nuclear plant. As you may know, people were forced to evacuate immediately, without being able to make plans for their pets. Although there have been a few stories of rescued animals, like this one, there are still dogs and cats in horrible conditions in Minamisoma and other areas around the plant. Although there are a few people who have refused to leave their homes, they cannot possibly care for all the animals, and many are in disturbing situations I won’t describe here.

There is an online form for foreigners to submit comments to Japanese PM Naoto Kan and his cabinet. Please take a moment to fill it out and ask that they allow rescuers to enter and save the animals before sealing off the area, and establish a shelter for owners to find their pets.

You can write in any language you want, but please include the following:

飼い主とボラに動物の持ち出しを許可してくれ。
それを収容できる場所を確保してくれ。

This means: “Grant permission to the pet owner and rescue volunteer to retrieve the abandoned pets from the Fukushima restricted area before sealing it off! Set up a shelter for the pets while the owners are found.”

Including this will make sure the Japanese government gets the message. Note that this is not an “online petition” (those usually don’t work) but rather the actual website of the Japanese PM.

Thanks for your support.

 

The website is in English. This is what I wrote:

飼い主とボラに動物の持ち出しを許可してくれ。
それを収容できる場所を確保してくれ。

I am an American, and my heart cries for the people of Japan who are facing such severe difficulties. I have sent money in addition to prayers, and you are all in my thoughts constantly. But my heart is also heavy for the animals in the exclusion zone around Fukushima. Many pets and farm animals had to be abandoned to follow your orders to leave the area, and now the people in shelters are not allowed to go back to take care of them.

The animals are starving and lonely, confused about why no one comes to give them food, water, and care. The owners' hearts are breaking from worry about the animals they love. These people have lost everything. Being reunited with the companions they love would help them so much to deal with the pain of losing their homes, businesses and normal lives.

I beg you, please, before you seal off the area, allow owners and rescuers to enter and save the animals, and establish a shelter for owners to find their pets.

Thank you for listening.

Sincerely,
[my full name]
Maryland, USA

From Futility Closet:

The boy stood on the burning deck,
His fleece was white as snow,
He stuck a feather in his hat,
John Anderson, my Jo!

“Come back, come back,” he cried in grief,
“From India’s coral strands,
The frost is on the pumpkin, and
The village smithy stands.

Am I a soldier of the cross,
From many a boundless plain?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
Where saints immortal reign?

Ye banks and braes o’ bonnie Doon,
Across the sands of Dee,
Can I forget that night in June?
My Country, ‘Tis of Thee.”

--Westminster Monthly, April 1910

Yesterday was my Unitarian Universalist congregation's annual Passover Seder. Over twenty years ago I created a UU-style Haggadah for the congregation, and we still use it every year. I have a health issue going on that involved some minor surgery last Wednesday that is sapping my already low energy level, so I couldn't do much of organizing or preparation, but by skipping a small potluck dinner on Saturday night I was at least able to conduct the Seder.

The group was small this year -- some years we've had almost 50 people, but this year there were only about 20. But although I'd like to see more of the community participating, it made the Seder seem more like the extended-family celebration it's supposed to be rather than the feeling of a big event.

Most importantly, everyone who attended thought it was wonderful! The all showered compliments on me for the way I led it and raved about the Haggadah. Several of the participants had never been to a Seder before, and they all said they enjoyed it and got a lot out of it.

I originally created this Haggadah because the one my church had been using when I first came was too long and too high-flown for what is supposed to be transmission of oral history to the children! I was appalled when I went with woofiegrrl, who was then 5 years old, and discovered she was the only child there. As bright as she was, the college-level text was still way over her head; without understanding what was going on for over an hour of reading, she was bored to death. I could see why there were no other kids there -- but without children to learn the story, the entire point of teaching the history of a people to the next generation is lost.

I resolved to write a new Haggadah that would be short (it runs a half hour before the meal and 10 minutes after it) and use accessible language, yet include all the important elements of the Seder in the correct order. While being faithful to the spirit of the Jewish Seder, it's UU in flavor -- for example, we flick an additional ten drops of wine out of the glass for plagues that afflict all too many people in our own time (slavery, child abuse, poverty, hunger, and so on) as well as the ten in the story.

Between all the praise on Sunday and the warmth of the welcome here, my heart is full.

I need to start posting here again. So much has happened in my life ... and in your lives. I miss my friends! I always think I'll read everyone else's posts first and then I'll post something, but I never seem to get that proverbial round tuit. So I'm going to try to get back in the habit of posting first, and then try to catch up with everyone.

I don't know that I'll ever catch up with the last year or two of my own life. I have to learn to post shorter entries. Once I start writing I can go on for hours, and that's the problem. I'm going to try to post something every day, even if it's only a few lines and try to keep it to a few lines.

Blogging--It's Good for You says the Scientific American.

A neuroscientist posits that blogging is a form of expressive writing, something which has already been shown to be therapeutic, and embarks on a study trying to demonstrate the reasons.

Another reason for me to get back in the habit!

Testing conditions:  I didn't touch the volume on my computer, just left it where it usually is, and the room is very quiet.

The level I heard it at was very low -- but I did hear it clearly! I'm sure I wouldn't notice it in a noisy retail environment, although it might be enough to make me feel uncomfortable without my knowing why.

Pretty good for a 61-year-old!

Created by Train Horns

I have a new refrigerator!

( Why I needed it )

( New refrigerator! )

It is cold!!! Right now it's 4.6º in my back yard. It's not a record or anything, but it's a lot colder than it usually gets!

Thank goodness I have a good strong heat pump. The electric meter is spinning dizzily, but I'm warm. Well, I'm warm as long as I bundle up. I keep thethermostat at 66º -- our rates recently increased 72%. But I wear sweats and a lined flannel shirt around the house, and I"m fine.

And at least there's no snow. Snow is lovely, but the discs in my spine are falling apart, so I don't want to have to shovel. I love snow, but I'd rather do without it now.

So much for New Year's resolutions ... today is the 13th. But better late than never.

All through the autumnn I just didn't have enough energy to do much of anything. Doing hospice care for Val was wearing both physically and emotionally. His life ended on December 2, but in the depths of my grief I didn't have the heart to post about it -- and I couldn't imagine posting about anything else, or even commenting, without mentioning Val's death. But I keep thinking about things I want to post about, and maybe writing about this will help give me closure.

( Journaling the journey )

It's so ironic. When a lot is going on that I want to post about, I'm so busy that by the time I get around to it it's so late that I need to get to sleep. When there's not much going on there's not much to say. That's when I should get back to reading my friends' posts, but altering habits is hard. I'm determined to do it, though! I changed my theme to a seasonally appropriate one -- maybe the fresh look will be a stimulus.

So I guess I'm babbling to avoid getting to the reason for this post. In my last post I mentioned that Val was in the midst of a lengthy illness. I had had a series of bad vets; thank goodness I finally found a good one -- no, actually, a wonderful one! -- less than a year ago. Or actually three good ones -- Dr. O is in a practice with Dr. J and Dr. S, all 40-something women and all compassionate, thoughtful and gentle.

( History )

So, the diagnosis is definite: He has lymphoma. The radiologist was great. After he was finished and Val was feeling safe back in his carrier, we talked. He recommended cortisone, and I said that's what Dr. O had wanted to give him but she was afraid if his heart was damaged the steroid would cause even more problems, and that's why she wanted the chest imaged too.

I made an appointment immediately for the next time Dr. O would be in. It's tomorrow (Thursday). It won't have any effect on his disease process, but it's supposed to make him feel better. We talked about chemotherapy, but that requires oral treatment, and Val just will Not. Take. Pills. We had such battles with the antibiotics and worm medicine -- Dr. O expressed real concern that fighting with me every other day would diminish his quality of life more than the chemo would enhance it. So, that's out. Dr. O is so wonderful. When there are valid choices to make she stands back and lets me make them -- I have to push her to make a recommendation. But when I try to go off in a direction that she knows is not best for Val, she gently but firmly pushes me in the direction she knows I would want to go if I knew enough and wasn't feeling so emotional.

She -- very properly -- wouldn't give me a time frame on the phone, but I had researched and asked if it was about three to six months. "That's average," Dr. O said. "Tell him I said he's above average!" She also said to spoil him, so I have official permission. The good news is that none of the vets can believe that he's still eager to eat! Every website on feline lymphoma says they lose interest in food, lose weight, and become lethargic. But between the last two visits Val had gained almost a half pound, which is a big percentage on a 14-pound body! He's also driving me as crazy as ever with demands to eat, and is as playful as he was in the spring, although he gets tired faster. Since there's no longer any worry about reducing his pudginess he's getting even more food than usual, and he's eating it all up! He's drinking a lot, too, which is keeping him from getting dehydrated. He has stopped throwing up for now, too. So I'm hopeful that he will be above average. I know he'll never see his 17th birthday, but I'm hopeful that he'll still be around to eat leftovers at Thanksgiving, and maybe he'll even be able to eat a piece of Meredith's birthday cake in January.

But as soon as he stops enjoying life, it will end. I won't put him through misery just to keep him with me a little longer. People have sometimes talked about how they couldn't bear to put their pet to sleep so they just waited until it died on its own, but I've never understood how they could be so selfish. I brought up the subject with the radiologist, and added that "I wish we could do that for people."

He was in complete agreement, and was pleased that I felt the same way he did about it, and told a story about a Catholic priest that had come in with his dog a few weeks ago. The results were not good, so after the sonogram he told the priest "We're going to have a very uncomfortable conversation now." The priest knew exactly what he was getting at. "Oh, no," he said the priest told him, explaining that quality of life was paramount and he wouldn't keep the dog alive once it was no longer comfortable. "I think we should do that for people, too -- it's too bad the law won't let us," he said the priest added, to Dr. Herring's surprise.

For now, Val is still a happy cat.

I'll know more -- not much, but more -- tomorrow. Please pray, send good thoughts, light a candle, or whatever you do to raise positive energy.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
-- John Lennon

I've wanted to come back -- you have no idea! I've missed you all sooo much! I'll try to explain what happened in more detail soon (I've written most of two posts, but I want to keep this shorter so it will actually get posted instead of being saved into yet another Semagic file). But I do want to say that, as awkward as I've felt in the past coming back after much shorter absences (would anyone notice, or care, that I was gone? would anyone still be here?), I don't feel that now thanks to so many friends (and one daughter) who showed that they missed my posts. Many nudges, emails and replies to my last post told me that you were thinking about me and -- more importantly -- missed me and wanted me to come back. I'm not going to list everyone, but you know who you are. I just want to let you know that it mattered.

Enough of that -- I have to introduce you to Floozie! See, the short version of the reason I stopped posting was not that I wanted to, but that my 7-year-old computer, with its total 256 megs of memory, was just not coping with modern life. It took me so long to do what I had to do that there wasn't enough computer time left in my day to do what I wanted to do. The ancient machine was getting slower and slower at an accelerating rate, to the point that it was actually noticeable. I was spending more and more time at the computer and the rest of my life was suffering. I wasn't getting out on walks enough, I didn't have any time to just sit and cuddle Val ... something had to go. Reading on LJ, posting on LJ, photographs ... eventually I did nothing on the computer but what I was obligated to do -- freecycle and my work as the secretary of the board for the building that my church is half-owner of.

So I finally broke down and got a new computer -- a laptop, my first real laptop! -- and I'm sitting here typing on it right now! My desktop never had a name -- it's name on the network is incomprehensible alphanumeric string, and I never cared. It isn't that I decided to think up a name for this one -- when a name was needed during the network setup, it just hit me ... "Floozie!" Kudos to anyone who can figure out why!

Floozie is a Dell Vostro 1700. ( Specs for whoever is interested in such things )

I couldn't find any good pictures to link to, so I thought it would be even better to take a couple of her sitting right on the old family room couch where I'm sitting and typing! ( Floozie's baby pictures )

So say hi to Floozie! (And don't forget to guess why you think she has that name!)

There's a whole lot going on, and I'll start trying to catch up with that as soon as possible, especially Val's lengthy (and still growing) medical saga. I found this new vet just in time, since he's been needing treatment continuously for months.

And please tell me if anything important has happened in your life (or point me to a post). How are you?!

After going through four veterinarians in as many years, I'm pretty confident that I've finally found the right one.

( Val's new doctor )

( Val's checkup -- arthritis and thyroid )

Happy (belated) Birthday
mactavish

Sorry I missed it yesterday -- hope it was happy!